Don't you wish you could just stop the clock sometimes? I remember a story in the scriptures when the Most High held the sun in the sky so our forefathers could finish fighting....yea, I pray for that all the time. It seems there's always so much to do and so little time.
If you're anything like me, not getting to every item on you list can be quite frustrating. Feeling inadequate when you can't fit everything and everyone into a 24 hour day can be the spark for plenty anxiety and nuff depression. I know most people think being a stay at home mom is easy breezy...but it aint. I can definitely testify that I work much longer hours staying home than I ever did leaving home. The labor is more intensive and unpredictable as well. But it's beyond rewarding. However, seeing my sons smile and laugh with glee while painting, coloring or playing in the yard doesn't take away from the self-imposed stress I endure when I have to spread the laundry over the whole week, or I cant fit in a single recipe post on Tasty Tuesday. But that's the thing, we don't HAVE to be stressed. We are not required to be anxious to get things done....we're actually commanded NOT to be. :/...
So why do we put ourselves through such headache by submitting to this world's view of what our lives should be? How do we break free of the time warp that we're in and get to really fulfilling our Given time here? I can't say what will work for everyone but I'll tell you what seems to be working for me...
If you're anything like me, not getting to every item on you list can be quite frustrating. Feeling inadequate when you can't fit everything and everyone into a 24 hour day can be the spark for plenty anxiety and nuff depression. I know most people think being a stay at home mom is easy breezy...but it aint. I can definitely testify that I work much longer hours staying home than I ever did leaving home. The labor is more intensive and unpredictable as well. But it's beyond rewarding. However, seeing my sons smile and laugh with glee while painting, coloring or playing in the yard doesn't take away from the self-imposed stress I endure when I have to spread the laundry over the whole week, or I cant fit in a single recipe post on Tasty Tuesday. But that's the thing, we don't HAVE to be stressed. We are not required to be anxious to get things done....we're actually commanded NOT to be. :/...
So why do we put ourselves through such headache by submitting to this world's view of what our lives should be? How do we break free of the time warp that we're in and get to really fulfilling our Given time here? I can't say what will work for everyone but I'll tell you what seems to be working for me...
Figuring out the root of my issues- I mean really sitting down and asking myself what's up- was really the first step. Curently I'm reading the book "Winning Through Enlightenment" and it's been really helpful in getting me to notice my 'stuff'...the author's term for all the beliefs and behaviors that we carry through life. The point is to understand that your 'stuff' isn't real and you don't HAVE to live by it. For instance, when I was growing up, as with a lot of my peers, a B wasn't really an acceptable grade in our house. While I know the aim was to keep our grades high and ensure we got a good education, it created unrealistic 'perfectionist' attitudes in the long run. While getting it right is a goal for everyone, absolute perfectionists tend to also be procrastinators. The fear of not getting it 'just right' stops us from doing it altogether. Which spawns anxiety...I tell you, it's a vicious cycle if we allow it. And more often than not, women are the 'victims' of it. We, more so, because we are buying into the mentality of women being 'bosses'. It shifts our focus from what's important to being fully focused on outer achievement. Yea, its nice to know that you can accomplish but it's even nicer to live with the peace of mind to enjoy your accomplishments.
Both I and my husband have that perfectionist trait from time to time, and for many different reasons, so I speak from experience. It's an obstacle to real achievement and a hinderance to happyness. I know that "everything has a place", but I can sometimes overthink my homemaking duties (over work myself) and overlook the fact that I live with 2 little boys, a puggle, and my dear husband (;) I have been guilty of not taking the time to appreciate the joy I'm surrounded by so busy occupied with the mess they make. We, sisters especially, can miss the forest for the trees at times.We naturally pay attention to detail but in this society we can obsess over them in our effort to 'prove' that we're strong enough or capable enough to go above and beyond.
So what of the sisters who don't stay at home...those who have deadlines and due dates and 'real world' problems? Well, my question is this, why leave home and still be stressed out? We have adopted the notion that we must 'work hard, struggle, fight' to achieve our goals. Y'all know, the 'blood, sweat, and tears' thing. It's the world's way of keeping us, women, running on the hamster wheel and out of the home. But if we chose to do so, why be stressed about it? I mean, I've been there...didn't you want the better position that makes more money? Surely we all know 'mo money, mo problems'... Case in point, I want to OWN and reside in a bigger, more beautiful house...but I know more maintenance is going to come with that...so that means, I have to stop chosing to stress about maintaining the small house I have now. So when a bigger house comes it'll be a joy! See, we all want better, but until we learn to enjoy the least, the best will only be more stressful when it comes. I'm sure there's no need to elaborate on how horrible stress and anxiety is for our health. Simply observing how hard it is to eat, a task necessary to survive, lets us know that worry doesn't belong in our system.
Needless to say, black women are probably the most stressed humans on the planet. We can get so caught up in getting everything right, on time, for everyone that we forget the value of the experience of living. This is not to say that we should just let everything go to the wind because, let's face it, we do live in a world surrounded by clocks, limitations, and constant motion. It is a call to slow down, look around, BREATHE and realize it's not that serious. It's ok not to succeed everytime. Success comes after many failures. Allow yourself to make mistakes, dust yourself off and go for it again tomorrow. Allow yourself to take a break just because. To 'stop and smell the roses'. Most times I find that when I rush or spend too much time trying to perfect things, not only do I slip up, I end up spending more time and resources than I would have if I'd taken my time and eased my mind. It helps to remember that All is Well, all the time. It's like with a painting, if you get so consumed with the details and never step back to look at the bigger picture, your picture will be out of wack and you'll get stressed out. You may even end up throwing it away after all that work! When we flow with things as they come and adapt ourselves fluidly to situations (especially those we consider setbacks), we go and grow through them with much more ease and sanity. :)
When it came to me and my zealous expectations of myself, I asked, "Do I want to be a housekeeper forever?" My answer was of course NO! If you find yourself spending more time on the tedious details of your life than enjoying your space in time, it may be time to reevaluate. Now I know, some people live for the 'rush' of being rushed. Some people need that anxiety feeling to feel 'alive'. But me, I need peace. I'm learning day by day that its okay to take things one bite at a time. It's ok to spread your work out into manageable pieces. EVERYTHING is not so pressing that it has to be done NOW. As a matter of fact, my husband has been requiring me to have some sit down time lately. He's encouraging these 'power naps' and things because I can literally run myself into the ground if I'm not stopped. Sad, I know, but realizing the problem is crucial in fixing it.
It was a challenge at first, but only to our mindsets. How we disconnected from the crunch of the 'system' was to take back our power over our time and relaxation. For me, it meant letting go of the 'work world' entirely and devoting myself to my-self and Us. Even after doing so, there are still mental constructs for me to tear through. For my husband it was a four month hiatus from the rat race to pursue greater ventures and establish himself as an owner. Our joy came when our ventures were successful. Even through setbacks and hardships, they worked. No one died, lights stayed on, children stayed fed and happy. So we realized, we can be happy and at peace, doing what welove and living how we want. With the Most High as our shield and guide, sending inspired ideas and the energy to carry them out, how could we fail? Well, we could've if we'd let those old fears get to us. The ones that say "that's too crazy to work". Whatever letting go and living stress free means for you, don't be afraid to go for it. The hardest part is the first leap. When we realize that we're measured on time of the Most High, it becomes much easier to live with ease, joy and purpose. We are not meant to be stressed out. We can live easily by following Divine Laws and directions. By understanding and appreciating that 'it's all in the plan' we can relieve ourselves of the headache and truly live!
Whew! A much needed spill, and I hope it was helpful!
Peace and blessings to y'all this #MotivationMonday ...be motivated to live well and stay healthy in mind, body, and spirit. :)
Shalom :)
Both I and my husband have that perfectionist trait from time to time, and for many different reasons, so I speak from experience. It's an obstacle to real achievement and a hinderance to happyness. I know that "everything has a place", but I can sometimes overthink my homemaking duties (over work myself) and overlook the fact that I live with 2 little boys, a puggle, and my dear husband (;) I have been guilty of not taking the time to appreciate the joy I'm surrounded by so busy occupied with the mess they make. We, sisters especially, can miss the forest for the trees at times.We naturally pay attention to detail but in this society we can obsess over them in our effort to 'prove' that we're strong enough or capable enough to go above and beyond.
So what of the sisters who don't stay at home...those who have deadlines and due dates and 'real world' problems? Well, my question is this, why leave home and still be stressed out? We have adopted the notion that we must 'work hard, struggle, fight' to achieve our goals. Y'all know, the 'blood, sweat, and tears' thing. It's the world's way of keeping us, women, running on the hamster wheel and out of the home. But if we chose to do so, why be stressed about it? I mean, I've been there...didn't you want the better position that makes more money? Surely we all know 'mo money, mo problems'... Case in point, I want to OWN and reside in a bigger, more beautiful house...but I know more maintenance is going to come with that...so that means, I have to stop chosing to stress about maintaining the small house I have now. So when a bigger house comes it'll be a joy! See, we all want better, but until we learn to enjoy the least, the best will only be more stressful when it comes. I'm sure there's no need to elaborate on how horrible stress and anxiety is for our health. Simply observing how hard it is to eat, a task necessary to survive, lets us know that worry doesn't belong in our system.
Needless to say, black women are probably the most stressed humans on the planet. We can get so caught up in getting everything right, on time, for everyone that we forget the value of the experience of living. This is not to say that we should just let everything go to the wind because, let's face it, we do live in a world surrounded by clocks, limitations, and constant motion. It is a call to slow down, look around, BREATHE and realize it's not that serious. It's ok not to succeed everytime. Success comes after many failures. Allow yourself to make mistakes, dust yourself off and go for it again tomorrow. Allow yourself to take a break just because. To 'stop and smell the roses'. Most times I find that when I rush or spend too much time trying to perfect things, not only do I slip up, I end up spending more time and resources than I would have if I'd taken my time and eased my mind. It helps to remember that All is Well, all the time. It's like with a painting, if you get so consumed with the details and never step back to look at the bigger picture, your picture will be out of wack and you'll get stressed out. You may even end up throwing it away after all that work! When we flow with things as they come and adapt ourselves fluidly to situations (especially those we consider setbacks), we go and grow through them with much more ease and sanity. :)
When it came to me and my zealous expectations of myself, I asked, "Do I want to be a housekeeper forever?" My answer was of course NO! If you find yourself spending more time on the tedious details of your life than enjoying your space in time, it may be time to reevaluate. Now I know, some people live for the 'rush' of being rushed. Some people need that anxiety feeling to feel 'alive'. But me, I need peace. I'm learning day by day that its okay to take things one bite at a time. It's ok to spread your work out into manageable pieces. EVERYTHING is not so pressing that it has to be done NOW. As a matter of fact, my husband has been requiring me to have some sit down time lately. He's encouraging these 'power naps' and things because I can literally run myself into the ground if I'm not stopped. Sad, I know, but realizing the problem is crucial in fixing it.
It was a challenge at first, but only to our mindsets. How we disconnected from the crunch of the 'system' was to take back our power over our time and relaxation. For me, it meant letting go of the 'work world' entirely and devoting myself to my-self and Us. Even after doing so, there are still mental constructs for me to tear through. For my husband it was a four month hiatus from the rat race to pursue greater ventures and establish himself as an owner. Our joy came when our ventures were successful. Even through setbacks and hardships, they worked. No one died, lights stayed on, children stayed fed and happy. So we realized, we can be happy and at peace, doing what welove and living how we want. With the Most High as our shield and guide, sending inspired ideas and the energy to carry them out, how could we fail? Well, we could've if we'd let those old fears get to us. The ones that say "that's too crazy to work". Whatever letting go and living stress free means for you, don't be afraid to go for it. The hardest part is the first leap. When we realize that we're measured on time of the Most High, it becomes much easier to live with ease, joy and purpose. We are not meant to be stressed out. We can live easily by following Divine Laws and directions. By understanding and appreciating that 'it's all in the plan' we can relieve ourselves of the headache and truly live!
Whew! A much needed spill, and I hope it was helpful!
Peace and blessings to y'all this #MotivationMonday ...be motivated to live well and stay healthy in mind, body, and spirit. :)
Shalom :)
RSS Feed