I saw this picture posted on a sisters page and my first reaction was a laugh but really it's sad. I know none of ya'll are guilty of such foolishness right??..but really?! It happens all the time! I can't tell you how many times I've seen a woman put their child(ren) on the phone with their father and encourage the child to call him every name but a child of God. Reality Check: YOU had a baby for him! You eff'd up. Stop blaming the men and make better choices!

    Now I know, there are some bum a$$ men out there...likewise there are some bums calling themselves women. But do the kids have to get involved? I've always been taught to never talk bad about the other parent in front of the child because eventually they will see for themselves. Being honest, I didn't take that route. My personal take on it is more of a 'Little Red Hen' theme. If you don't help prepare and bake the cake, don't ask me for none of my cake. If the brother is not doing for the child, take your baby(ies) and move on, without expectations. We take for granted that our children learn everything from us. Let them see you dealing with integrity, and moving forward with dignity regardless of mishaps or mistakes. They will interact the way they see us do it. If a black boy is told to disrespect his father, he will never learn to respect himself as a black man. If our daughters are taught that their 'daddy aint shit' they will have a hard time seeing the reality of good black men. Sometimes we get so caught up in our emotions that we miss the point. If he will not stay to help build stable children, we must do it. We must take the blame off the men because at the end of the day, OUR OWN DECISIONS got us in whatever position we face. No matter how unfair the situation may seem. It's no longer about you and how you feel, it's about the duty you have to the child(ren). Forget him, his new girlfriend, his other BM, wife or whatever and do what YOU gotta do! Keep calm and CARRY ON!
    A mistake we tend to make often is not believing a person when they show us who they are. Worse yet, when we do see and believe, we think we can change them or 'love them past their problems'. If a man wants to be a bum, he has every right to be what he wants to be! This is America dammit! Land of the free...so do NOT infringe on his rights. HOWEVER, you do not have to put up with it...you didn't even have to get involved in the first place. It's wild that some women will see a man 'on IG flexin' and actually be attracted to that. Attracted enough to buss it open and pop babies out... just because his pics made it look like he was 'ballin'. Lol. A picture can speak a thousand words...and an IG account can tell a thousand lies! A man who posts pictures of 100 pairs of sneakers is hardly worth taking seriously. The old folks say, "if his shoes too clean he aint working" and it's true. Not to say he should look bummy but if a MAN can't clean up like a MAN...if he goes out looking like a Fruit Loop... if he's trying to look 25 at 35, and that's attracting you, it's time to sit and reevaluate sis. So, is it his fault you fell for the okey doke? Not hardly. In case no one ever shared this lil nugget, I'll share it now... REAL 'Ballers' are NOT spending all day IG flexin...they're too busy making moves! 
    Sistas, understand that it is NOT cute to be having babies for a man just because he looks like he might have it together. PROVE HIM! Make him know that you're not just any woman who will allow him to be less than the king he should be. Make him wait...and wait...and wait some more. A REAL good man is not trying to dip in and dip out...he's trying to get in and solidify something. Sistas, it aint cute to be sleeping around because "if they can do it we can too". We're not built that way. A man can always turn himself around and get it together, without judgment. A woman has a slim chance of reconciling her image after jumping from Tom to Dick to Harry in hopes of landing on a man who will solve all her problems and pay all her bills. Unlike men, our baggage is not so easy to hide.
    There is a reason the Most High ordained marriage. It keeps down confusion and whoredom within our nation. In today's world whorish activities are so normal and even admired that we can't tell the difference anymore. We're told that a woman who has 'no strings attached' is "liberated". Yet she is bound by the chains of unwanted pregnancies, guilt, disease, and emotional scars. Our self-esteem has been damaged. Our family unit has been destroyed, systematically. Yet we can't blame the system. We got us into this position and our continuous degrading of our men will keep us here. If we continue to let our own actions as WOMEN go unchecked we will be worse off than we are now. At some point we have to woman up, take responsibility and heed good advice. Correction is in ORDER! And this is not meant to hurt, it's meant to heal. Take it for love, because those who don't care sit by and watch as we fail.
    Ladies, never forget that we chose to either be treasure or trash. We believe the lie that there are 'no good men left' so we settle for 'he aight'. There are plenty of good men, and a good woman will attract them... as long as Tyrone from down the block isn't filling his space... or 150 lbs of 'baggage' hasn't cluttered your life, you should be fine. 
-Clarity and Guidance

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