One of the most powerful tools for transforming the black man, and the black family, is a modest, self-aware black woman. I hear so many sistas complaining about what a 'dog' the black man is, yet we feed them dog food constantly. We accept them dressed as little boys, in saggy jeans (or skinny jeans), colorful sneakers, caps, etc. To add insult to injury, we search for men while we dress like....less than ladies. It is safe to say that most people do not understand the law of Attraction. This law states that we can only attract to ourselves what we already are. Every person in our lives is a reflection of some part of ourselves. So do you really wanna attract a man who is okay with his woman going in public in pants that accentuate her 'prints'? I didn't think so!
We're entitled to a few things when it comes to men... Protection, Provision, Fidelity, and Respect. While our men are supposed to protect us, we're also obligated to make it easy to be protected. Imagine the woman who goes out every weekend and gets absolutely wasted. She went out in her shortest dress and highest heels, danced on the bar, and 'turned all the way up'...you know her, you may be her. Imagine how difficult it would be for a man to ensure her protection. How hard is it for a man to resist this woman coming on to him? Imagine all the weaker men who went out looking to take advantage of a girl just like her! Scary isn't it?! Now ponder upon Ms. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, with her 'own' everything, who still makes sure her butt looks good going to work and tells her man 'You met me in these tight pants' when he asks about it. Imagine how hard it would be for a man to provide for that. When he buys her beautiful dresses she exchanges them for more of the same. How difficult is it for a man to be faithful in these situations? Does a man truly respect his woman if he is okay with her parading her body in front of strangers? It may be possible but not highly probable.
I remember a time when I lived for the nightlife. This was long before children or a husband brought focus to my life. My patience was short and my hemlines were shorter. By today's standards I was 'covered up' and pretty modest...I mean, my butt cheeks never showed and "the way I dress doesn't determine who I am!" ...Right?. I was bright, intelligent, and wise beyond my years(according to some); but I couldn't for the life of me figure out why men seemed not to be interested in those attributes. More captivated with my body and face than any form of conversation. In this superficial society, they all seemed to love me, swore that I was the "one"; but there was a nagging sense that something was missing. In the back of my mind, my mothers words from my childhood played like a record, "A man wants a lady, and he will never make a whore his wife". Though my actions and speech were lady-like, people get to know you with their eyes first! By family connection, I ended up in the company of N.O.'s rasta community. That was my first introduction to what it meant to respect my body, my womb, and my womanhood. I saw men who PREFERRED that their women be covered. I saw sistas who were comfortable (even in sticky Louisiana summer heat), beautiful, and fashionable in modest apparel. I met a man, my husband now, who suggested (but didn't push) for me to cover myself. I started slowly, eliminating and replacing items one piece at a time. Over time, my entire style had changed, for the better. I developed a truly unique and individual style. The respect I had searched out previously comes randomly and abundantly from strangers, friends and family. Male and female! Above all, who I AM actually has changed, become more refined, with a change of clothing. My reproductive health has improved DRASTICALLY since I ditched the tight clothes. I have heard many testimonials from women who have completely shrunk fibroids, cysts, etc. by making a few simple changes in wardrobe. It forces you to be creative, and it also forces you to commit to your own respect. Consider it sistas. I know the brothas seem to 'like' that 'look' better...but they really don't know what they want until we show it to them. When we raise the standard, they will have no choice but to rise with it! Let's be the Help they need! ;)
I remember a time when I lived for the nightlife. This was long before children or a husband brought focus to my life. My patience was short and my hemlines were shorter. By today's standards I was 'covered up' and pretty modest...I mean, my butt cheeks never showed and "the way I dress doesn't determine who I am!" ...Right?. I was bright, intelligent, and wise beyond my years(according to some); but I couldn't for the life of me figure out why men seemed not to be interested in those attributes. More captivated with my body and face than any form of conversation. In this superficial society, they all seemed to love me, swore that I was the "one"; but there was a nagging sense that something was missing. In the back of my mind, my mothers words from my childhood played like a record, "A man wants a lady, and he will never make a whore his wife". Though my actions and speech were lady-like, people get to know you with their eyes first! By family connection, I ended up in the company of N.O.'s rasta community. That was my first introduction to what it meant to respect my body, my womb, and my womanhood. I saw men who PREFERRED that their women be covered. I saw sistas who were comfortable (even in sticky Louisiana summer heat), beautiful, and fashionable in modest apparel. I met a man, my husband now, who suggested (but didn't push) for me to cover myself. I started slowly, eliminating and replacing items one piece at a time. Over time, my entire style had changed, for the better. I developed a truly unique and individual style. The respect I had searched out previously comes randomly and abundantly from strangers, friends and family. Male and female! Above all, who I AM actually has changed, become more refined, with a change of clothing. My reproductive health has improved DRASTICALLY since I ditched the tight clothes. I have heard many testimonials from women who have completely shrunk fibroids, cysts, etc. by making a few simple changes in wardrobe. It forces you to be creative, and it also forces you to commit to your own respect. Consider it sistas. I know the brothas seem to 'like' that 'look' better...but they really don't know what they want until we show it to them. When we raise the standard, they will have no choice but to rise with it! Let's be the Help they need! ;)
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