How long have we been at war family? How many wars are we fighting at once? The wise always remind us to "pick ya battles", so how many of our battles are really necessary? Dont worry, I'm going somewhere with these questions.
How often do we see images of black people, women especially, fighting? The media is overcrowded with black women fighting each other, their men, their children, their parents...just about everyone. We are made to believe that angry, aggressive, and bitter are our natural states. Most of us know at least one woman who just may be a natural born witch, but most of us are not her. So why do we allow eurocentric media to manipulate our views of ourselves? We must get to a place where no one can tell us who we are, especially when it comes to relating with our men.
The campaign against healthy, black families is alive and real. Some of us are even falling for the media push to 'try something new'. We believe that there aren't enough good, black men to go around. We believe that 'other' men will treat us better and give us the THINGS we think we deserve. Most of us here in western society have no notion of the importance of providing, not only a stable home and family structure, but also a stable, strong GENETIC structure to carry our children's children forward. There is now, as there has always been, a war against us creating more of us. So if the world is fighting to extinguish us...and we're distracted with fighting each other, we lose before we even realize we're in a fight. This is why bringing the man and woman back to perfect unity is of the utmost importance. And not just in the bedroom ya'll...or even in the home, but in the world at large. We have to see God in our men again! We have to see God in ourselves, our children, our sisters, and even brothers we have no interest in. We have to get to a point where every thought and action is focused on building for our people and our future. Our forefather, Dr. King, feared that he had integrated us into a burning house. Well this house is on its last leg and we didnt move into it on our accord...so at any moment we may move out and build our own. Let's getta building fam!
PeacePeace
So I'm researching the black marriage "scene" and I came across an article asking if it is ok for a woman to marry for money...
It's wind down time ladies! The family is fed, the babies are in bed and I am finally able to ex-HAAALE! All praises!
Truth be told, today has been a toughy. One of 'those days' when everything seems to go left when you're trying to go right. I literally electrocuted myself on a surge protector...yea...its been that bad. BUT-having a bad day does not give me the right to be a sour puss toward my man....and that is the message of the day! We must know how to embrace and deal with our emotions in a way that they don't negatively affect our families, and especially our men. We have to remember the pressure they are under. This world has manipulated the images of our men and convinced us that they are our enemies. Imagine that. Not only are they oppressed in the work force, in politics, media, and every other aspect of society...now they're oppressed in their own homes. Now I know, we all have our ways. No person or relationship is perfect; but we can all make real effort to perfect the way we operate in our relationships. So my dearests, here are a few ways to take the load off BOTH of you at the end of these long days...hope you(and your mate) enjoy!
 Hellllloooo ladies! :) I recently saw this image posted to the profile of a friend of mine. Needless to say, the caption caused QUITE the stir! Some women (and men) felt this was totally true. Especially in the case of housewives, stay-at-home moms, etc. While other women had an "I'm not his mama OR his prostitute" attitude about it.
Most married women OVERstand the value of keeping the spark lit in your relationship. Any wife worth her salt has been told at least a hundred times by our elders "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach". So sisters, what do you think? It seems the prevailing thought in todays culture is that 'he' needs to take care of 'ME' and take care of his own needs while he's at it.
Though this thought pattern is not scriptural...or even reasonable really, it is a rampant reality. Are we abandoning our roles in the relationship? Is it selfishness...or is it progress? Is 1 Corinthians 7:3 still relevant in the marriage of the 21st century? (Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.) Could this shift in the thinking of the woman be part of the cause of the fall of the black marriage and family? How does being subservient to 'his' needs make us feel as women? Are we ashamed of being "that" woman for our men?
Chime in and share your thoughts on this topic ladies... ; )
Greetings loves! All praises to the Highest for his Eternal Intellegence. As the season changes and the flowers re-emerge, my prayer is that we are all opening ourSELVES up to becoming renewed women in Christ.
If I have learned nothing else in the short span of my journey thus far, it's that change is a continuing process. To allow every twist, turn and unexpected hiccup to change us in the best way possible should remain the goal. Our journey has been divinely ordered by the One who knows which steps will lead to our greatest good. It is when we submit ourselves to that order that we become our greatest selves.
I'm the first to admit...telling me to submit was like telling me to jump off a bridge at one point. I could not fathom a life where I was not 'in control' of everything I was involved in. I had to have the first and last word...ALL the time. I had to be right...ALL the time. "My way or the highway" was more than a motto for me, it was a way of life...literally! No one could tell me anything, I refused to hear anyone. Then I stopped and realized... 'My way' was NOT working out for me. My life, in my control, was spiraling out of control. The thing I wanted most, a good man/husband, seemed to be fleeing from me like a fugitive! I didnt know what to do. The Bible was my last resort, and I found myself at my wit's end, ready to recieve whatever the scripture had to give me. I said my first prayer in a long while ("Father, make my desire your desire") and opened up.
I wanted to know what His advice was specifically for women. And wouldn't you know, all signs pointed to SUBMIT. So that's exactly what I did. I put away all the things I knew He didnt want for me. (Including the toxic relationship I thought I couldn't live without). I researched, read, and researched some more. I wanted to know why, if God created and commanded us to be submissive, did we hate it so much? I loaded my mind with the good and slowly burned out the old programming. figured, the One that created us, knew the best formula to make life work...so I studied and applied. My GOD, I felt renewed! More importantly, I felt strengthened. Things started going right. I recieved blessings and the things I so desperately needed became ALL I wanted. Last but certainly not least, I got my man!
Funny thing is, it had all been there all along. Right in my face. Fact was, until I could submit myself to the will of my all-knowing Father, I could have never given myself in total submission to ANY man, any blessing, or any obstacle. The sister in the video said it best, by submitting, we let ourselves know that not only do we have all the help/power/strength we need to face our challenges, we become stronger by allowing ourselves to let go of control and SUBMIT to the process! Remember sisters, change is continual. We will continue to be faced with situations that I JUST DONT WANNA submit to (I know I do!). That spirit of rebellion will try to rear her ugly head and tell us we dont have to... but we'll look back at where we came from, look around and see where we are, and ahead to where we'll be as we continue to overcome..and give thanks for being blessed with the desire and the POWER to submit to this beautiful journey. All honor and praises to the Most High!
Love, Peace, and Guidance to all my beautiful sisters!
Beautiful days to my beautiful sisters! I pray all is well balanced in your worlds :)
Welp...I'm sure we can all agree that the male/female dynamic in our community is one subject we all love to love and hate. I'll be the first to admit that I've been on th farthest ends of the love spectrum and just about everywhere in between. What better teacher than experience? If my experiences can better our love...it is my honor and pleasure to share them! Feel free to share your own(directly or hypothetically)...we are here to make our nation one of greatness...& we certainly cant build on bad relationships.
I know, I know..."the body follows the head" a.k.a. our men lead, we follow; so the state of our community is a refelction of 'them'. Well, I'll state the obvious...this page is not for them! lol. It's not our job to teach or lead them; but we can make changes in ourselves that will bring change to our men, families, and community.
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