....He got married!
It's a beautiful thing to see real marriage happening amidst my peers. It seems that there are weddings all around me, and it's not even wedding season yet. I'm seeing a pattern that most of my sisters know all too well. It's a joyful time for the brides, but a nightmare for more than many of our sisters. Why is this? Why does it seem that more brothers are marrying while most sisters are not?
It's a beautiful thing to see real marriage happening amidst my peers. It seems that there are weddings all around me, and it's not even wedding season yet. I'm seeing a pattern that most of my sisters know all too well. It's a joyful time for the brides, but a nightmare for more than many of our sisters. Why is this? Why does it seem that more brothers are marrying while most sisters are not?
I see my sisters hurting, lonely, and many struggling to raise children alone. It is a difficult position to be in. A woman in the world without a cover. But....then I remember, we are "strong black women", we're "independent". So what is all the fuss about? It is a terrible thing when your words come back to haunt you.
Let's take a walk down memory lane ladies.... Growing up he may have been that annoying neighbor boy who became your best friend. Maybe he was the nerd in your class who went out of his way to be nice to you. That one guy in college that never tried to sleep with you, helped you study and brought you soup when you were sick. We know him as Mr. Nice Guy. Some call him Mr. Friend Zone...or even Mr. Boring. He was the one who followed the rules, a square, if you will. Sat inside watching Star Wars when the "other" guys, (you know, the ones we attract to like magnets) were catching charges...and tail.
Well, now Mr. Nice is married with 2.5 kids and a dog. His wife is Mrs. Happy Homemaker, well cared for and submitting to his every whim. How 'bout them apples?? Growing up, all except 3 of my friends were guys. So I have seen this story played out many times. I have myself been on both sides of this coin. Trust and believe, it is not always guaranteed that another Mr. Nice will come around. Prioritize what it is you really NEED from a man. Do you need him to have a nice car right out the gate? Does he have to like to go to the club because that's what you like? Does he need to dress a certain way? I am certain that the answer is "no". When you closely examine "the list" you'll probably find a whole bunch of "no's", because we tend to base our "taste" on what's popular at the time. Well look, your man is not food, he's there to feed you! A man should know his job and do it well. A woman should allow him!
It's a slippery slope, these times we're living in. Women are fulfilling the duties we once needed men for, so that now, we base relationships strictly on wants and desires. "I don't need a man to feed me but I want a man to entertain me"..."but I don't want a clown or a lil boy"..."but he has to listen and do it my way because I run this"..."but I don't want no punk, I need a man strong enough to handle me, pay my bills and be a father to my kids"..."but I don't need NO man to pay NOTHING in here...and these MY kids that I pushed out, he bet'not tell them a D@*N thing!".....It is pure confusion! So we're passing up a responsible, thinking man for... "dis n!gga". By not "settling for less" than our lackluster lists of wants, we settle for lack.
Peace
Let's take a walk down memory lane ladies.... Growing up he may have been that annoying neighbor boy who became your best friend. Maybe he was the nerd in your class who went out of his way to be nice to you. That one guy in college that never tried to sleep with you, helped you study and brought you soup when you were sick. We know him as Mr. Nice Guy. Some call him Mr. Friend Zone...or even Mr. Boring. He was the one who followed the rules, a square, if you will. Sat inside watching Star Wars when the "other" guys, (you know, the ones we attract to like magnets) were catching charges...and tail.
Well, now Mr. Nice is married with 2.5 kids and a dog. His wife is Mrs. Happy Homemaker, well cared for and submitting to his every whim. How 'bout them apples?? Growing up, all except 3 of my friends were guys. So I have seen this story played out many times. I have myself been on both sides of this coin. Trust and believe, it is not always guaranteed that another Mr. Nice will come around. Prioritize what it is you really NEED from a man. Do you need him to have a nice car right out the gate? Does he have to like to go to the club because that's what you like? Does he need to dress a certain way? I am certain that the answer is "no". When you closely examine "the list" you'll probably find a whole bunch of "no's", because we tend to base our "taste" on what's popular at the time. Well look, your man is not food, he's there to feed you! A man should know his job and do it well. A woman should allow him!
It's a slippery slope, these times we're living in. Women are fulfilling the duties we once needed men for, so that now, we base relationships strictly on wants and desires. "I don't need a man to feed me but I want a man to entertain me"..."but I don't want a clown or a lil boy"..."but he has to listen and do it my way because I run this"..."but I don't want no punk, I need a man strong enough to handle me, pay my bills and be a father to my kids"..."but I don't need NO man to pay NOTHING in here...and these MY kids that I pushed out, he bet'not tell them a D@*N thing!".....It is pure confusion! So we're passing up a responsible, thinking man for... "dis n!gga". By not "settling for less" than our lackluster lists of wants, we settle for lack.
Peace
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