I cannot stress enough the importance of watching your words. It is especially vital around this time of year. There is so much "love" energy in the air, be it natural or manufactured, and so many of us are looking for love. But every year around this time singles (women AND men) use their words to bash love and lovers. Consciously and subconciously. Either way it's extremely distructive. If we understand that our words and thoughts are the nails and glue that piece our worlds together, why then would we speak AGAINST the things we want? It's ok to say "Yes, I want to be in love and I want someone to be in love with me", "Yes, I want to feel intense passion, connection and intimacy with my soul mate and I want it all reciprocated!", "Yes, I believe in love and I BLESS the day when it shows it's beautiful face in my life". It may feel ridiculous to say all these things if you've convinced yourself that love is an unequal compromise, a battle of the sexes or a sacrifice of some sort. If you have convinced yourself that "all men" or "all women" are the same. If you are unwavering on the way you perceive love to behave when it finds "you", or that "fairytales are BS".
I know how it feels to think love is always passing you by, but it's not. Love goes where it is welcomed and it flourishes where it is nourished with positivity and vulnerability. When a crack appears in the walls of your belief about love, it may slip through but when you actively change your thoughts and words, breaking down those walls, love can freely flow into your life with abandon. You CAN create with your words the exact relationships, friendships, careers, EVERYTHING that you desire. So if you desire real, fulfilling love, put your "just being honest" card to the side and reshuffle the deck. Use words that empower you toward love and that empower love toward you. Say instead " I am worthy of all the love my heart can handle", "When I give my love, it comes back to me multiplied and it always feels good", "There is no separation between my soulmate and myself, I feel his loving presence and soon I will see him.", " I love love and love loves me!" The more life you speak into your lovelife, the more alive and thriving it will be. I'm sure of it. I was once the girl who said "what's wrong with me? Why can't I find/keep love". When I changed my thoughts, words and actions towards love, it showed up where it had always been, grew strong and stayed!
Peace and More Love
I walked into the living room after a fantastic nap y'all (Shabbat Shalom!) and Mr. Smith was watching this. He's always finding the gems. :) Now of course Bro. Umar isn't speaking from a fully Biblical perspective so there are some points I don't agree on but as a whole, these are the things black women (and men) need to hear. It's a 5-parter but it's more than worth the time.
Our relationships and families are sick and there's definitely more than one prescription needed for our healing. Here's some medicine....
Greetings my beautiful sistas! Today welcomes another episode of Tell-It-Like-It-Is Tuesday. I had a convo with a sis a few days ago and it's been on my mind ever since. We talked about the level of covetousness these 'reality' shows bring out. Even in real life, we see sistas who seem to have it all, the 'Perfect' husband, children, car, and home. We see women who are afforded luxuries we think we deserve. We compare ourselves to these women and wonder "what is she doing that I'm not". Too often we don't take the time to 'count the costs' as the old folks say. We never wonder what we'd be willing to give in return for all those luxuries and pretty things. What did she give? This is not to say that every fabulous life comes with a dire price tag; but you'd be surprised to know that, more often than not, it does.
One of the most powerful tools for transforming the black man, and the black family, is a modest, self-aware black woman. I hear so many sistas complaining about what a 'dog' the black man is, yet we feed them dog food constantly. We accept them dressed as little boys, in saggy jeans (or skinny jeans), colorful sneakers, caps, etc. To add insult to injury, we search for men while we dress like....less than ladies. It is safe to say that most people do not understand the law of Attraction. This law states that we can only attract to ourselves what we already are. Every person in our lives is a reflection of some part of ourselves. So do you really wanna attract a man who is okay with his woman going in public in pants that accentuate her 'prints'? I didn't think so!
....He got married!
It's a beautiful thing to see real marriage happening amidst my peers. It seems that there are weddings all around me, and it's not even wedding season yet. I'm seeing a pattern that most of my sisters know all too well. It's a joyful time for the brides, but a nightmare for more than many of our sisters. Why is this? Why does it seem that more brothers are marrying while most sisters are not?
I recently read a post that asked if women should be allowed on the frontlines in war. An even deeper ponderance would be should women be allowed in militaries at all. Not to say that we are not strong enough to fight; any black woman worth her salt has done her share of fighting. Whether it be physical, spiritual, emotional or otherwise. However, in my opinion, war is not meant for women. We are emotional creatures by nature. Though some of us choose to supress our essence, killing is not natural to Womb-man, we are life bearers. Historically, wars have been fought to PROTECT women and children. In eastern cultures, when visitors entered a city, the women and children were never seen. The visitor was kept in the company of the men aka the protectors. They were thoroughly examined before being introduced into the fold. Even in wartime, the fighting happened a far distance from the village/city where the women and children were kept and protected by those men who were unable or unwilling to go to the frontlines.
So what has happened? Most black women now feel severely UNDER-protected by black men, despite the large number of black males on the frontlines in our wars. Black babies and children are molested and manipulated at an alarming rate. Do women now feel that we must protect ourselves by sacrificing what little safety our children are provided in our care. It would be foolish to believe that female soldiers ALL have their children with them at their stations. So then, who protects the babies? What is the psychological efefct of a child growing up with the fear that their parent(s) may never return? Is it really worth it? What exactly are we fighting for ladies?
In our struggle to be equal with men, to show that we are as strong as a man and capable of "doing what he can do, better", we have neglected the truth of ourselves. It is shocking, to me, that many women would willingly lay down their lives to the barrel of a gun but will not birth children without being completely numbed from the waist down. It seems we have traded our true strength for a cheap imitation. For a westernized idea of what womanhood should be. Well I know for sure, a bullet cannot prove to me I am strong the way pushing out a baby naturally can. Standing in the ranks with men cannot validate me more than standing up to a system that tries to degrade the essence of my woman-ness. Shedding the blood of innocents cannot compare to bringing forth new life, in my book. There is no strength greater for a woman than that which she has been blessed with from Supreme Existence.
Blessings and More Peace to us all
The views represented in this video are...interesting...to say the least. Let me first say I'm not in total agreement with all his points but his monologue does raise some interesting questions. It's troubling that these issues are not being raised amongst US as women. Where is the love amongst us? I'm sure we've all experienced (and maybe even perpetrated) the catiness that prevails when we are in each others presence. It seems there is an underlying sense of competition...anxiety...jealousy?
There was a time in our history when women reared children, cultivated land, gathered food...together. We were each others support system. While our men were away providing, they trusted that we were harmoniously tending to the needs of our family/village/nation. Where has that unity gone? Is our relationship with our fellow sisters, and our thought patterns toward sisterhood a reflection of how we feel about ourselves? How does this rift affect our relationships with our men, our daughters & sons...or (dare I ask..) the women of other nations??
This one is strictly about US ladies...a penny for your thoughts?