One time for all my domestic divas out there! Isn't it lovely? ...but Truth be told, if you're anything like me, it wasn't always that way. Trust me when I tell you, before I had a family, my life and my space were a MESS! I literally owned over 80 pairs of shoes at on point...and not one closet !! So when I speak about homemaking, I'm speaking from the experience of turning a disorganized LIFE into a clean and comfortable space for my family to live and grow.
In this day and age, it is a blessed few of us who were given the guidance to properly build a home. Most of our mothers were working or 'living' during our formative years. That was the 90's, the age of the independent woman. The era that held the beliefs that marriage and family were options and that women were actually in competition with men. Feminism did a number on families in general and the Black family especially. We lost ourselves ladies, and we lost our men and children in the process. But we are more than able to reclaim our righteous standing and rebuild our nation, one home at a time.
Creating peace within yourself is the most important aspect of creating a peaceful space for your king. Learning to love and appreciate your own strengths and weaknesses helps you love and appreciate your man's. We will always have differences in relating with our significant others, but we should never let those differences cause division in our homes. For example, we 'tinkle' with the seat down, our men generally do it with the seat up. We know this. Most of us have known this since we were little girls. So why do we allow something so small to cause contention between us and our mates? Just look before you sit :) We see this dealing with dirty socks, taking out the trash and SO many other things in our homes. Admittedly, I DO NOT touch the trash but I never have to. I have a no-nagging policy and so much more seems to get done without the bickering. With all the work our men do outside of the home, it's imperative that home feel like a refuge for them.
Consider the situation before you catch 'feelings' about it. Is his habit of dropping his dirty laundry wherever it lands really that bad? I doubt it. We are created to help our men. Simply picking up and putting in the hamper is not hard is it? And yes, I know "he's grown" and you're "not his mama" but you're supposed to be better than his mama to him. I've learned to take my husbands 'differences' with a smile, even if I'm not happy about them. Smile about anthing long enough and those happy feelings will become genuine. Try it out ;) .
Having a clean, warm home is only a part of the answer. If you are such a clean freak that it makes your family uncomfortable, you've defeated yourself. If you have a home full of men, like me, it's important to give them the freedom to express their 'manliness'. Our womanliness is there to pick up after them, within reason of course ;). Western ideologies would have us believe that it is supposed to be 50/50 in all things but that agenda is really to make our men feminine and make us masculine. Don't fall for it. A 'house husband' is not what you want... and I personally, don't want to be 50% responsible for providing for our household.
Let your king KNOW that you are grateful for his provision and protection by making sure he is able to be free, comfortable and catered to in his own castle. It's not weak or outdated to be great at making a home. It is really freeing and rewarding. When we make our homes a haven for our families, we are rewarded in kind. Remember ladies, DO IT WITH A SMILE!! It is not heaven if you're slamming cabinets and cleaning with a scowl. That energy penetrates everything you touch and soon enough you will see the effects, be they negative or positive.
Peace and many blessings from our home to yours!
-Shalom
Creating peace within yourself is the most important aspect of creating a peaceful space for your king. Learning to love and appreciate your own strengths and weaknesses helps you love and appreciate your man's. We will always have differences in relating with our significant others, but we should never let those differences cause division in our homes. For example, we 'tinkle' with the seat down, our men generally do it with the seat up. We know this. Most of us have known this since we were little girls. So why do we allow something so small to cause contention between us and our mates? Just look before you sit :) We see this dealing with dirty socks, taking out the trash and SO many other things in our homes. Admittedly, I DO NOT touch the trash but I never have to. I have a no-nagging policy and so much more seems to get done without the bickering. With all the work our men do outside of the home, it's imperative that home feel like a refuge for them.
Consider the situation before you catch 'feelings' about it. Is his habit of dropping his dirty laundry wherever it lands really that bad? I doubt it. We are created to help our men. Simply picking up and putting in the hamper is not hard is it? And yes, I know "he's grown" and you're "not his mama" but you're supposed to be better than his mama to him. I've learned to take my husbands 'differences' with a smile, even if I'm not happy about them. Smile about anthing long enough and those happy feelings will become genuine. Try it out ;) .
Having a clean, warm home is only a part of the answer. If you are such a clean freak that it makes your family uncomfortable, you've defeated yourself. If you have a home full of men, like me, it's important to give them the freedom to express their 'manliness'. Our womanliness is there to pick up after them, within reason of course ;). Western ideologies would have us believe that it is supposed to be 50/50 in all things but that agenda is really to make our men feminine and make us masculine. Don't fall for it. A 'house husband' is not what you want... and I personally, don't want to be 50% responsible for providing for our household.
Let your king KNOW that you are grateful for his provision and protection by making sure he is able to be free, comfortable and catered to in his own castle. It's not weak or outdated to be great at making a home. It is really freeing and rewarding. When we make our homes a haven for our families, we are rewarded in kind. Remember ladies, DO IT WITH A SMILE!! It is not heaven if you're slamming cabinets and cleaning with a scowl. That energy penetrates everything you touch and soon enough you will see the effects, be they negative or positive.
Peace and many blessings from our home to yours!
-Shalom
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